Friday, March 25, 2011

Positive Cancer Thoughts

This January I had just returned from Vegas, cancer was far from any thought, but it was my birthday and I needed to perform my yearly exam in the shower.  Much to my surprise, I found something that was previously missed in my August well-woman exam.  Yes, it was cancer, triple Negative to be exact, and I was devastated.  I am due to graduate this June and march with my class in April, how could this be happening to me.  God?  Are you there, it's me, you know the one who has that one small mustard seed of faith, the one that has always stated, "I'll stay here to do your work as long as you need me", regardless of the of job offers and money I've said no to in the past?  Yes, rest assured that He knows all His children for it was I, who for a moment forgot who I was and my place at His table.  For He knew that only I could turn this into my walk with God and have positive thoughts for those struggling through cancer. 
As I surfed the web and Internet sites for all the information on Breast Cancer or triple negative cancer I could not find an article, newspaper clipping, web chat, and or even a blog that stated anything positive about dealing or having breast cancer.  I would find myself at my church praying and leaving with a light heart and good spirits only to come home to surf the web and find very scary and dreary posts from those suffering through.  Once again, there I was running to my closet and wishing I could run away.  Fear was all around me, but why?  I had only read those few words from different sites that spoke of painful surgeries and hideous scars and I began to feel overwhelmed with fear and despair. Words are powerful, they help or discourage us in our daily lives so please be careful and compassionate when you speak or write.Yes, I am flesh and I fell apart but this is not a depressing site, this site will not have tears unless they are happy tears.  I want to publish this so others can find that yes, there are survivors and we survive but we also laugh again and even cry some and those tears are of fun times not just sorrow.  It has only been four weeks since my partial mastectomy or lumpectomy and thank God for small breasts, it is hardly noticeable.  So today I invite you to please, walk with me as I join God along my walk to greener pastures in breast cancer as He begins to teach and reveal to me the inner beauty of being so close to Him. 
I want you all to know how important it is to move quickly on a solid foundation and you should know how quickly God moved me. It took me six business days to have my mammo, ultrasound, surgery consult, and biopsy to conclude that it was breast cancer. Imagine, Feb 1st I found the lump, the 2nd I had the mamo/ultrasound, the 4th I was with my surgeon, and the 8th I had my biopsy, and finally my results on the 10th. Then it was 14 more very scary days until my surgery. I thank every day for the people/family at St. Joseph's Medical Center and the Corporate Healthcare Connection that expedited my services through such a horrific and terrifying ordeal.
Today's thought: "If God is for us, who is against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, will he not also give us all things with him?" Romans 8:31-35,37-39

1 comment:

Diane Nettle said...

A beautifully inspiring testimony from a strong, beautiful woman of God. Thank you Brenda.