Today is round 11 of 12, which means I have today’s chemo and then one left to complete this cycle. This is my third type of chemo we have changed to as I had a bad reaction to the last one. This is definitely a change, however, I will not bore you with the disgusting details; just know that what normally happens to others doesn’t ever happen to me. I’m a special patient and at times, I endure special tactics to accomplish certain tasks in life, this is just one of them. I heard Joel Olsteen say, you can always tell when you’re near the Promised Land as the fire becomes more intense and the pain becomes unbearable. Just like giving birth, the last pain is the hardest but the outcome is wonderful. They have turned up the heat and I am near, so all I can do is trust that God is in control.
As far back as I can remember I always knew I was special. You see, I was adopted but not just to any family. My Godparents, who baptized me at birth made a completion of the cross, in Catholicism, by adopting me. Looking forward today and knowing that I have two rounds of chemo left I can only wait to see what God has in store for me. I have been blessed with great friends and family who have supported me through this experience. This would be unbearable without them and I would not be so sure if I could be so strong. I know I have experienced more things in life than most people will in a lifetime (both good & bad) and at times I wonder why? Is there a message in this or what is it that I must learn, pass on, or teach to others? However, as I reflect I can see that God’s hands have always been busy in my life. His work is continuous and although I may never understand the reasoning behind such drastic changes, I will forever be humbled by this experience. Cancer not only left a scar on my chest, but an imprint on my heart of an undying love, compassion, and understanding for those who must endure this illness especially those who do not have the support I have been blessed with in this lifetime. Change is good, although we may not like it, or it feels awkward, and at times, even a complete waste of time, it is what we cannot see down the road when we must trust in God’s work.
So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.
For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. ( 2 Corinthians 4:18) (NIV)